The wedding and marriage of Princess Victoria Melita and Ernst Louis

In Autumn 1891, Victoria Melita was visiting Queen Victoria at the same time as her cousin, Prince Ernst Louis of Hesse and by Rhine. During their time there, the Queen noticed how well the two seemed to get along. Not only did they happen to share the same artistic tastes, but also a birthday. Before long, the couple were engaged and Queen Victoria’s matchmaking plan had worked once again! Their wedding took place three years later, on 19th April 1894, at Schloss Ehrenberg. The ceremony itself was large and hosted most members of European royalty. Amongst the guests were the grooms sister, Princess Alix, and Tsarevich Nicholas (later Tsar Nicholas II), who announced their own engagement during the celebrations.

At first the marriage appeared to be happy and within a year Victoria gave birth to the couples only daughter, Princess Elizabeth.

Together Ernst and Victoria were known for their extravagant house parties. Almost anyone from young relatives to artists and intellects were invited on the condition they liked having and were under the age of 30 as anyone above that age was considered “too old” by Victoria! During the parties, almost all rules were abolished and guests were allowed to do whatever they wishes and only nicknames were to be used.

However, that soon became a public front as their marriage slowly crumbled behind closed doors. Despite her new position as Duchess of Hesse and By Rhine, Victoria would do anything she could to avoid her duties. She would often find excuses not to respond to letters, put off visiting elderly relatives that she found boring and would only speak to people she liked at official functions, often ignoring people of higher ranks. Instead, she continued to party. Naturally, Ernst Louis was not impressed by his wife’s lack of dedication and soon arguments began. To make matters worse, Victoria Melita had inherited Queen Victorias temper, which would often lead to her throwing things at Ernst and also smashing china plates against walls.

Their relationship worsened in 1897 when Victoria returned home after visiting her sister Marie and claimed to have caught Ernst in bed with a male servant. She later went on to tell one of her nieces that “no boy was safe, from the stable hands to the kitchen help. He slept openly with them all”. Although this can not be proven, Ernsts close friendship with known bisexual, Karl August Lingner, who left Tarasp Castle for Ernst after his death, suggests that the Duke may have been either homosexual or bisexual.

Following the birth of an unnamed stillborn son in 1900, both parties were desperately unhappy and divorce seemed like their only option. However, despite being shocked to hear of their failing marriage, Queen Victoria refused to allow them to divorce in order to protect their daughter, Elizabeth. Ernst, who doted on his daughter, agreed with Queen Victoria but after her death in 1901, wrote to his sister that he “saw the absolute impossibility of going on leading a life which was killing her [Victoria Melita] and driving me nearly mad”, adding “If I had not loved her so, I would have given up long ago”.

On 21st December 1901, they were divorced on the grounds of ‘invincible mutual antipathy’. Victoria Melita moved in with her mother in Coburg, while Ernst stayed in their home. They shared custody of Elizabeth, who spent six months at a time with each parent. Although the arrangement provided her with some stability, Elizabeth blamed her mother for the divorce. On one occasion, Ernst Louis caught his daughter hiding under a sofa and crying because she didn’t want to stay with her mother, complaining that Victoria didn’t love her. Ernst didn’t say anything as Victoria had always resented Elizabeth for taking up so much of his time.

Elizabeth died of typhoid in 1903, aged eight, while visiting Tsar Nicholas II and his family in Poland. The Tsarina, Ernest’s sister Alix, delayed sending the telegram summoning Victoria to be with her daughter. By the time she was preparing for Poland, Elizabeth had already died. Thirty years later, Ernst wrote about Elizabeth in his memoirs, describing her as “the sunshine of my life”. While Ernst never seemed to fully move on from her death, during her funeral, Victoria removed her Hessian Order and placed it on Elizabeth’s coffin to show that her ties to the past were over.

Both Ernst Louis and Victoria Melita remarried. On 2nd February 1905, Ernst married Princess Elenore of Solms- Hohensolms- Lich, with whom he went on to have two sons. On 8th October 1905, Victoria Melita married Grand Duke Kirill Vladimirovich of Russia, woth who she had two daughters and a son.

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